We’re Striving For The Wrong Metrics for Success
“our culture, family, the media, and society are constraining us with their definition of a ‘successful career’"
Get a high-paying and stable job. Work your ass off so you can get promoted to a higher role. Buy that big house. Buy that luxurious car. Own the coolest gadgets and possessions.
Why do we strive for all of these things? Why is it important to achieve more wealth than we need or more possessions that we don’t actually care for?
I believe that our generation has been dealt with a mixed bag of opportunities and constraints. We have the opportunities financially to choose our paths in life, but our culture, family, the media, and society are constraining us with their definition of a "successful career". 😲
“If you don’t have this kind of job or own these things, then your life sucks!!”
What most people don’t tell you is that it’s possible to achieve society’s version of success and STILL end up unhappy. Once they achieve wealth, status, and possessions, they realize they don’t value those things as much as they thought. 🤯
I wanted to be successful as well, but my metrics for success were totally incorrect. I focused on wanting to become a millionaire and strove to be at least a Director at a tech company. I even had a picture of a mansion in Atherton as my desktop background. I was so determined to achieve these things because I thought people wouldn’t respect me otherwise. I did things to get more approval or to prove someone wrong (I’ll talk more about caring what people think in another blog). I forgot to focus on my mental health and finding fulfillment in what I’m doing.
What I realized is that it's okay to want success, but we have to determine what our metrics for success are. 🔑 When we think about superficial success like money, status, or material things, we stop caring about why we do what we do and instead focus on trying to prove something to other people. We end up doing things for the wrong reason. Instead, success could be based on having time for your family or the ability to work on things you care about.
Re-evaluating Our Metrics for Success
“what we define as success and how we approach it is the important thing.”
We can break that typical definition of a "successful career" and define our own. A successful career is one where we feel we're contributing to something we believe in, we feel intrinsically motivated to wake up every day to pursue our mission, and we get compensated well enough to live our lifestyle. There's also success in following your core values even when it’s challenging. And after some time, we can look back and feel satisfied with the work we've accomplished. 👌
Don’t get me wrong! I don't think that wanting success is a bad thing. It's natural not wanting to lose. But what we define as success and how we approach it is the important thing. If we're going against our core values to reach that success (e.g. by lying, cheating, or burning unnecessary bridges), we are going to lose a lot more than what we gain. We’d lose friends, trust, and integrity (to name a few).
Each person can have their own definition of success and how they want to achieve it. When we decide what metrics to follow, we can succeed in what feels right to us. 🙌
Redefining Our Metrics for Success is Intentionally Living
Just like everything else in intentional living, we’re defining what we value and what we want to strive for. When we take ownership of our definition of success, we take back control of our lives.
What metrics of success are you willing to let go of?
What new ones are you willing to strive for?
I welcome you to send me an email and let me know! I’ve been responding to each and every email reply and am enjoying what you’ve learned so far!