Can Too Much Ambition Cause Unhappiness?
For most of us who are wildly ambitious, we're never content with where we're at. We have these Big Hairy Audacious Goals (BHAGs), that typically seem so far out-of-reach.
Lately, I’m still publishing newsletters every week, I’m working on the next iteration of my community, I’m helping support two other communities, and I restarted my Youtube channel.
It can seem like there’s a lot on my plate... And, well, there is!
When we want to do everything on our to-do list, we may feel guilty about not getting through everything on it before calling it a day. Our small, incremental progress may never seem good enough. We feel like we never achieve anything worthwhile and forget how much we've gone.
It messes with our happiness and views on our self-worth.
Now that I’m back on YouTube, it’s easy for me to check the analytics of my recent videos and get caught up on whether or not there are enough views and likes on my video.
Yes, it helps with the algorithm, and yes, it’s important, but does it make me a failure when I don’t have as many views as other people’s? And I just got back on the platform, so why am I comparing myself to others?
When we reframe our expectations only on what we CAN control, we can clarify how much we've actually accomplished.
So the question is… How do we reframe our views around goals more realistically?
Continue reading to learn about the technique that has helped me keep track and have a realistic view of how much progress I've actually made, leading me to more satisfaction and happiness.
Focusing on the Process, Not the End Result
As mentioned before, the issue with BHAGs is that they may seem unattainable. Even worse, if we expect that we will achieve our goal, it’ll definitely hurt when we fall short of that expectation.
I didn’t want my goals to be the cause of my unhappiness, so I wondered if there was another way I could view them.
That's when I heard of this popular quote from the Habit guru, James Clear:
"Goals are good for setting a direction, but systems are best for making progress."
Instead of basing my success on the outcome or a result, I can base it on whether or not I put in the work.
To keep track of my progress, I need a system that isn't focused on a metric that asks whether or not I reached my goal.
That's a black and white question...
If a goal really matters to me, I should be asking myself whether or not I contributed time, energy, and effort towards that goal for the day.
Instead of a goal of having X amount of YouTube subscribers (which is something I DON'T have control over), I can focus on publishing YouTube content on a consistent basis.
I have more control over my release schedule than how many people actually like my videos and subscribe to my channel.
The expectation is now on me and my commitment to this YouTube project.
Redefining what Success Looks Like
Focusing on the system instead of the outcome can greatly change your view on your accomplishments.
Think about one of the goals that you’ve been working on for a while now.
What was the original definition of success?
How can you redefine what success looks like by focusing on the system?