Bottling up My Emotions and Feelings
Bottling up my feelings was the reason for my physical pain.
After my cousin passed away in, 2019, I only took one day off from work. I convinced myself that I had closure and thought I was able to move on.
After a few months of trying to get things back to normal, I started having a hard time falling asleep and would constantly wake up feeling pretty shitty. I’d have prolonged headaches, neck pain, back pain, ear & jaw aches, and stomach problems. I thought it was just because I wasn’t sleeping correctly or I ate too much spicy food. But I learned the hard way that bottling up my feelings was the reason for my physical pain. 😣
I also started losing motivation at work, which made me more stressed. My mind was filled with anxiety, sadness, anger, and so many other feelings.
I tried ignoring my grief by distracting myself with more activities and responsibilities. Eventually, I had a mental breakdown. I got sick, felt depressed, and knew I needed help.
I finally decided to try therapy, taking only three sessions to conclude that I was still grieving from my cousin’s death. My grief was affecting everything else in my life in such a significant way. Since I was keeping emotions bottled up and not allowing myself to feel my feelings, it manifested into those physical pains.
Once I realized this, I was able to take the first step towards healing. The goal is to find the root cause of our struggles and understand how to deal with them. Most importantly, I was able to ask myself important questions that would help me respond to these feelings. 🤔
Tuning Into Your Feelings
It required a lot of self-reflection and honesty about how I was feeling and how I was handling my feelings.
I started to journal daily, or at least weekly, to exercise my mental muscle. I became more self-aware of my overall moods, my desires, and my dreams. This allowed me to take action and think about what I could do when I feel down.
It takes courage to allow yourself to feel your emotions without pushing them away. We grow and learn when we feel our shitty feelings. Similar to how a doctor asks you to rate your pain, the most simple and effective way to start tracking your feelings is to ask yourself one simple question at the end of each day.
On a scale from 1 - 5 (1 - Terrible, 5 - Amazing), how are you feeling at the end of the day?
If you have difficulty reflecting or journaling, I want to challenge you to start here.
If you’re interested in getting deeper into your feelings, click here to access and download the journal template.
I’m interested in what you learned about yourself and your mood! Send me an email and let me know what was that one step that you took that helped you with your mood? How did you feel about it?
As always, being honest with yourself and constantly reflecting on your moods, emotions, and feelings will benefit you in the long-run.