“Fear of failure may be hindering us from achieving a lot of what we want in life.”
How the Fear of Failure Hinders Us More Than We Think
We were taught that failure is bad, and as a result, we avoid trying new things and challenging ourselves. When we were young, we made lots of mistakes when learning how to walk or riding a bike.
But as we got older, we somehow forgot that it takes some falling down for us to learn how to get anywhere. It’s part of life. Society has convinced us to limit ourselves to what we (or other people) think we’re capable of. So we end up just focusing on guaranteed results and stop searching for opportunities that may be challenging -- the opportunities where we might fail.
When was the last time you said one of the following in a conversation:
“It’d be cool if we did X.”
“I want to be a Y.”
“One day…”
But also followed up with one of the following:
I don’t know how to do it correctly.
What will people think if I don’t succeed?
What if I let someone down?
What if I waste my time or money?
But I don’t want to make a mistake.
Fear of failure may be hindering us from achieving a lot of what we want in life. This view that failure is bad has been rooted in culture, social pressure, media, and more. But since failure is part of the process in anything we do in life, the first thing we need to do is to reframe failure in a different light. 💡
Embrace Failure
Like all of my other mistakes, the ones I made while learning on the job are the lessons that have stuck with me the longest. And of course, I’ll never forget the lesson learned.
The consequences of mistakes and failures are typically not as bad as you think. Starting with a different mentality on failure and continuing to challenge yourself in ways where you might fail is crucial for growth with every failure as a lesson. 💪
Instead of seeing failure as a setback, you can always see it as a way forward. There are many ways to allow yourself to fail forward more often in your personal and professional life.
To begin shifting your mindset about failure, here are a few exercises and strategies that can help you fail productively and safely:
View opportunities with the abundance mindset. If you know there are more opportunities available, you won’t be scared to make mistakes.
Find people you look up to and determine how many times they’ve failed before succeeding (business owners, creators, co-workers, friends, etc.). They typically learn and continue working towards their goals and didn’t stop trying.
Start with small opportunities where you may potentially fail (a new hobby, a new skill in your expertise domain, a new recipe to cook, etc.).
Ask yourself and write down what you’re afraid will happen if you don’t succeed when trying that new or challenging opportunity. Next to each scenario, on a scale of 1 - 10 (1 = no consequences, 10 = worst thing ever), write down how badly will that failure affect your life. For your worst-case scenario, write down ways of how you could recover from it. After you have found at least one way to recover from your worst-case scenario, you’ll realize that you can survive any scenario. (inspired by Tim Ferriss)
Find environments and people who will support you to fail and learn. You must be surrounded by supportive peers, mentors, and organizations.
Anytime you make a mistake or failure, journal about that moment and write down what you learned from that experience. Those lessons are what you should be focusing on more and continue to bring with you from that point on.
Practicing any of these points is crucial to working out your failure mentality muscle. Instead of punishing ourselves and each other when we make mistakes, let’s create a community where we can support one other to learn and grow together. 🙌
I challenge you to reflect on one thing you’ve been putting off to do (a hobby, talking to someone you’re interested in, etc.).
What is stopping you from doing it?
If you’re looking for an accountability partner to try something new, I invite you to email me the one thing you want to accomplish and what strategies you want to try. I’ll root you on and check in once in a while to help you through any obstacles.